As summer fades and I come off of vacation, reality seeps back into my mind and world. We have been recommended to that we update our adoption portfolio by doing it digitally (eg. computer scrapbook program [wasted $34 on some complex thing]or online program). We have to be able to print off our port so we can then place it in the Office Max plastic slide-in paged book they provide us. So I decided to do Shutterfly and then will unbind the book. Great huh? Not so much. Lost my mind working on trying to make it perfect-computers are far from. Now $70 later ordered and not even delivered yet, social worker informs me another couple did it this way to find out after placing in ports (pages in Shutterfly printed back to back) would be upside down and birthmom will have to keep turning it back and forth to look at it. So now after figuring how unbind, hopefully Office Max can copy on similar paper right side up for those pages.
I have my 35th birthday next month and am not even a mom yet. Facebook is filled with old classmates/family posting 1st day of school pics of their cute kiddos and I can't even hold a baby yet. It breaks my heart. I have to do all this work to not even know if it's "good enough". I am blessed with some very special friends and family that have really helped me with this and thankful to that.
On top of all of this I had an ultra-sound last week to find 3 masses all together on both ovaries. No surgery at this point, we will do a follow-up u/s next month. In the meantime, my back and pelvis is "screaming" from those damn things. And next Monday I am having another "painful" EMG regarding the nerve issues in my leg. I don't expect life to be "easy", but keep putting a request into the big guy up there to let it be "easier".
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