Haven't Met You Yet

In the past couple years I have become a Michael Buble fan-of course he's not bad to look at, but love the soothing jazzy voice and glad to have found a jazz artist that has music that fits into my running mix. As I was running one day last summer I really focused on the lyrics in his song, "Haven't Met You Yet":

I know someday that it'll all turn out
You'll make me work, so we can work to work it out
And I promise you, kid, that I give so much more than I get
I just haven't met you yet

I might have to wait, I'll never give up
I guess it's half timing, and the other half's luck
Wherever you are, whenever it's right
You'll come out of nowhere and into my life

I decided to gear those words to our future Baby Van Ess-it motivates me to keep going somedays. We have had quite the experience with Pbmom(possible birthmom)#1. She even said she was still thinking of placing this month and we haven't heard a word and have let go. We have lost all trust in her-not once has she followed through on any of her statements. Our other possible opportunity was a blessing in that she didn't choose us, because it is turning into a court nightmare with the bio-dad fighting to have custody of the baby and that would have been pretty hard on us after all we've been through and hard because we understand pbdads have rights too. We emotionally just weren't in a place for more heartache.

We are sad, but not hopeless. We understand this is the risk of domestic adoption, but to be told by the agency that what we experienced was one of the worse cases they've seen doesn't make it any easier for the pain and constant back and forth uncertainty we endured. At the suggestion of the social worker I added some things and a storyline to our picture portfolio. She will be showing it to a pbmom Wednesday. We don't get too excited, but glad its being shown.

February will be a year since we started this whoe process and really saw ourselves to be parents by now. Instead of dreading February I planned a day spa trip in Madison for us and then an evening with huband's best childhood friend and fiancee for board games (our FAVE) and a seafood extraveganza! We become stronger as a couple and hope our prayers are answered sooner than later. We haven't met him/her yet, but we know your'e out there growing or in the hands of God waiting for us!